Nice and not nice

Not nice is

• Giving birth on a dirty carpark floor
• Still contracting afterward to deliver the placenta
• Having the obgyn open the wound to get the remaining tissue out and attempt to stitch me raw (he eventually put painkillers in my i.v drip)
• Hospitals, en general. The staycay novelty wears out quickly

Nice is

• Coming home
• Seeing my family
• The parents making their way safely here
• My bed

Not nice is

• Recovering from delivery- sitting on vjj stitches remains one of the major pains- and they aren’t even as searing, this time
• Avoiding the stitches, one proceeds to develop a sore tailbone from shifting around; a sensation verging on burning
• Constipation, and trying to poop with stitches down there
• Milk, milk, milk. Waiting for milk to come. Hoping there’s milk to come. Inescapably tying milk production and self-worth.

Nice is

• The twelve cookies and two brownies I ate while in hospital
• 猪脚除，fish papaya soup, and red date tea
• My clothes fitting better than they have for months + no longer 24/7 feeling like my belly is about to burst from the strain

_

Day 4 了，when will milk come in; will milk come in?