lest i forget

October 22, 2014

We’ve all seen the man at the liquor store begging for your change
The hair on his face is dirty, dreadlocked, and full of mange
He asked a man for what he could spare with shame in his eyes
“Get a job, you fuckin’ slob,” is all he replied.
But God forbid you ever have to walk a mile in his shoes
‘Cause then you really might know what it’s like to sing the blues.

A comment left below a HONY story


for the record

October 20, 2014

i have 19 items in my fridge slot (we each get one tray level in this home). let me try recall them from memory:

slow-cooked lo bak, one maybe burmese chicken thigh, five pseudo-IKEA meatballs in their stiff gravy, a tray of eggs, a bunch of fresh asparagus, four avocados I got from spudshed that are refusing to ripen (repeated reminder why i will not return), one ripe banana I’ll probably eat tomorrow, a bit of butter, chinese wine, oyster sauce, kikoman soy sauce, condensed milk, two types of chili, – we’re at 14 items – pumpkin soup i made tonight, a tupperware of rice meant for tomorrow, a container of rendered oil from chicken and pork – i’m very proud of that- and finally, deep fried spiders and wine-red pomegranate seeds, the last two being completely imaginary ideas since i can’t remember what really is within. hmmm. come on, memory.

i guess deep fried spiders and wine-red pomegranate seeds are my final answers. let me rise, and go check-

ah! half a brownie made by my venerable landlady, whose chocolate goods are literally mouth-watering – my mouth, anyway -, which i’m saving for tomorrow, and tau chiau, aka fermented soybeans. i wonder why i don’t use it in place of kikoman.

mmm. maybe next time i’ll do an inventory of my larder. this is the life of an independent single*.

*disclaimer: the mostly independent not-single.

October 20, 2014


so i attempted IKEA meatballs. if i ever make them again, i will use homemade stock for my gravy. and i will have to make them again, seeing how i have a stuffed ziplock full of them uncooked meatballs in the freezer. i just realised the ziplock’s from IKEA, which is nice and fitting. it is also nice and fitting all the meatballs squeezed in. maybe i’ll make me some stock mid-november; heavy deadlines coming up in a couple of weeks, and i need to concentrate. mmm.

source: http://damndelicious.net/2014/02/21/swedish-meatballs/

also, here’s a compliation of sweet potato recipes i’d like to try one day- http://www.buzzfeed.com/christinebyrne/sweet-sweet-taters#6utmjx. i don’t recall seeing the tatters in Perth, but these can stay snug till i retrieve them. do you ever wonder what’d happen to all the recipes if the internet fails one day? shiver me timbers at the thought. mmm. also, i just want to say potato spells potatoe in my head, and recipe would spell recepie, if i had my way. maybe one day! but for now, i turn my thoughts to disorders regarding gender identity.

hello you, hello us

October 16, 2014

today, i looked at old photos. and downloaded some of them. i had intended to put them up, here, photos to show me, show the world, but they weren’t there when i looked in my folder. it’s alright; maybe they’ll appear later. meanwhile i shall write words.

i chose a photo of my leaving home, in a bride’s gown, soon-to-be husband arm in arm. the white brick walls of the old lift lobby glow in the picture, and sunlight streams into the lens. my now sister-in-law is bending, adjusting the train. a dear friend doubling as videographer walks by our right, and a neighbour’s simple bicycle watches us pass from the left. i was leaving home.

i chose a black-and-white photo of me stepping out, entering the sanctuary, daddy beside me, making sure i don’t fall over my too-long gown. it was a little thing to be concerned over, but daddy was in tears the day he gave me away. he gave me away, i belong to another, but i am his daughter. in obstinacy, in conviction, in spirit, i have my inheritance from him and mommy.

i chose a photo of my brother hugging me, a moment in my thank-you speech. telling him he hadn’t lost his big sister, but gained a brother. mommy was the only one who had controlled her tears while i thanked each one; funnily enough. john’s in the background, smiling, and somehow, he and the flowers make it beautiful.

a final photo; john and i sharing a space – a few words, a pause, some oxygen, chemicals, privacy, the heady rush and relaxation after it all, the celebration, the joy, the ceremony of marriage. then the becoming began; the process of oneness so complete i am his and he is mine, and his banner over me is love. one day we will get there.

the photos have appeared.


leaving home;


daddy and his girl;


didi, it’s not goodbye;


hello you, hello husband, oh hello, hello us 

Who are you out of context?

October 15, 2014

When you travel, do you think you become more or less who you truly are?

Or is this a false question? Are you the same person at home, at work, and beyond the confines of your daily environment and routine?

– 5secondrule

I’ve wanted to think over this for awhile now. Since I have an evening free (finally), I shall. Although, before I do, maybe the question is, what is context? A quick look online shows “context” – ˈkɒntɛkst/ – (noun) –  as

  1. the circumstances that form the setting for an event, statement, or idea, and in terms of which it can be fully understood.

‘the circumstances that form the setting for x‘ – I like that. Who am I, removed from the circumstances the form the setting for me, Rachel? Or is this another false question for a different reason, namely, that we are our contexts the way a cake is its batter?

Does my identity change with new conditions; do I lean towards certain behaviours following shifts in situations? Out of the context of home and now in Perth, have I changed, and how? And ‘… in terms of which x can be fully understood’ – do I and others understand myself less, now that I’m in a different place? hmmmm. So many question marks. My old tutor would have a fit.

I think context’s boundaries can be fluid. I speak for myself. If I have changed in any country I’ve been, it would have been from experience and not context. I would say I’ve carried my context within me for a long time now. I would recite them to anyone who asks.

It hasn’t always been like this; only increasingly as I’ve come into my own. Furthermore, I doubt Perthians (Martians?) would understand me more if they went back to my homeland, heard the sounds I grew up with, smelt the humidity, sampled the food I love. If they understood me, it wouldn’t be because they get my geographical setting – it’d be because they have gotten me.

I carry my context within me, the story of sorrow and redemption, faith and hope. It forms my identity as batter makes the cake. We go together, in all times.

Photo post

October 14, 2014

So I’ve been cooking and making quite a bit recently, and decided to put them all together, along with other bobs of life. In no particular order, then-


Meatballs- credit: http://3hungrytummies.blogspot.com.au/2011/12/sticky-soy-and-garlic-meatballs.html

They were pretty good, in large part due, I believe, to the leftover chicken oil I used from Jenny’s (my dear matriarch landlady) earlier cooking of her chicken- no store-bought oil can beat the goodness of real-time produced oil, I’m telling you. mmm. Also, I advocate eating fresh- 500g of minced pork made 20-22 (I lost count) ping pong sized meatballs, and they tasted nicer last night than they do today. I will have 5 for lunch with rice tomorrow and I’m just hoping they’ll be alright. Eat fresh, my friends, eat fresh.


Scones in the making – credit: http://www.karencheng.com.au/2014/09/08/simple-cheese-and-bacon-scones/

Excellent, although we put in a dash more milk, and a scattering more flour, than the recipe called for. The idea is a texture wetter than cookie dough, though still firm enough to shape. So good, Jenny’s youngest son asked if he could bring a bag to school tomorrow. I’m hoping to save some for John though, so Matthew got a small Tupperware’s worth instead. But I did give him enough to share with his friends. Also, lesson re scones- don’t put them in the fridge, or they’ll harden. This is according to the wisdom of Celeste, with whom I made the scones, and I shall listen to her.


Jenny’s egg boiler I got very excited by. It looks so cute hehehe


Possily Burmese Chicken Stew – credit: http://shesimmers.com/2009/04/burmese-chicken-stew-maybe.html

I remember putting this up some time ago. Well, I’ve made it twice since. This is a photo from the first round, and it must be said the husband has admirable pan-frying skills. He seared it very well. I followed the proportions the first time, and halved the ginger the second – not by intent, but circumstance – the ginger, once shaved, proved to be bruised. Not returning to Spudshed. Mmm. I liked it even better the second time, but that’s possibly because I added more turmeric (preemptive warning: the future third time, do not be overenthusiastic with the yellow spice and drown the other flavours with overenthusiasm).  mmm. I’ll probably do three-quarters the ginger portion from now on. The kick from the root does hit a good spot. Meanwhile, there are still three pieces biding their time in the fridge. For some reason, stews do well over time. Not meatballs.


An old lunch photo I included cuz it looks pretty.

I have a couple more photos, of a squashed spider (writing that makes my heart drop some) and a cake I made, but I don’t think I’ll upload them. I didn’t want to smack the spider with my slipper, but Jenny the dear matriarch told me about red-back spiders and their bites and the need to kill upon sight and the spider in the bathtub, well- I didn’t know how red-back spiders looked like. It just looked kind of red all over to me. I like spiders, I didn’t like smacking that one.

As for the cake I made, the photo is upside down and I can’t get it the right side up, and I know if I put it up here the upside-down-ness would bug me each time I look at it. And since I look at old posts pretty often, I figure it’s not quite worth the niggle. But it was my first cake…


Figured it out. Hi cake.

Alright, it’s bedtime. Goodnight world, do you think John will have his scones and more tomorrow? I hope so!

1. Castle Rock, where massive rock structures rose into the sky after an hour’s climb and awed me. I think maybe seascapes and mountain ranges have found their fill in my head, and now I have space for nature’s niches.

2. Night shooting with the guys, me just sitting on my bottle while they set up their equipment and lapsed away. The moon lit the bay, and under a headlight I was shown a prawn. The stars were captured, my world was midnight blue. I felt at home.

3. These guys: IMG-20141006-WA0015