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Backdated: i found something I’d written >2 years ago; one of many old posts

August 10, 2016

Today was community, the names and faces who spell love. I ate too much at a lunch prepared by our helper with both sets of parents, two kid cousins and sister-in-law. Plonked myself down for tea with roadside durian fellow, whom I reminded was chained to me; I’m not letting her go. Was late for dinner with friends ten years old; they’re coming over in a few months so I don’t have to say goodbye to them, I’m glad I don’t have to say goodnight to them. Met a lady I would consider an older sister if I had to define our relationship; we shared life stories and reflected on motherhood. She told me stories of the finance style she manages with her husband and I replied with stories of my growing up. When we walked out of Coffee Bean, I saw my friends again; they had been at MacDonald’s waiting for me. We spent more time together. Such love it is I have been blessed to know, friends I don’t deserve but have anyway. Our wedding day had been friendship-driven and these were the hands and feet who had given their labour of love. In a society where vendors take over various areas and strangers are hired for their skills, I knew every face in each team, and most of all, we meant something to every one of them. Such preciousness, love entirely unmerited. Did I mention, last night, my sister-in-law asked me a question about parenthood? That if I have issues and Hubbasaur has his, why have children? What a stunner of a question. Why have children indeed, knowing the flaws we each have and will inevitably bear onto our progeny? The question stumped me for the night and today. I brought it up to fellow roadside durian consumer, and two heads were not better than one. If anything, we tripped each other more, with our acute awareness of our shortcomings. But the talk at Coffee Bean shed light. There were two thoughts: one on reflection, and the other on the lifebuoy of moral commitment. In choosing to bear children, we capture some of the hope God must have in us; our risk-taking God, who knows full well our propensity to rebellion and still decides to love. Our choice to give life also reflects, to some extent, the life-giving character of God. Hope and reflection are powerful impetuses. Since by childbirth and parenthood we take on the qualities of the best of them all, ideology waves the green light.

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