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about this time, now/ just in case

May 15, 2015

I acknowledge –

I acknowledge sadness
I acknowledge anger
I admit to the possibility of a sense of loss

The tension is better than numbness
I guess

 

today, we woke up in each others arms, sleepily blissful from a night of reaching out for each other, blankets strewn everywhere. lunch was a five hour conversation with his friend leaving perth and moving to the 76th squadron – or 79th, one of them. on the way back we talked and prattled. i said the scant contact time had been difficult. he offered daily half-hour phone calls for days when dinner together was not possible. i said i’d like that. the knot in my three-quarters undid itself after that. hopefully we’ll get the routine going smoothly. last night, he ate dinner at eleven thirty, on the passenger seat, wolfing down an uncertain mix of what i’d made while car drove through darkness and farms. he said it tasted good, although he’s said the same to anything i’ve ever scooped from the kitchen. the only time was when the garlic black bean sauce was terrible, though i’d done nothing to make it taste so bad. i suppose we both just don’t like garlic black bean sauce.

we think having a chalkboard wall in our love nest will be cool, the kitchen layout will be one-sided and we’re discussing how the second bedroom’s going to look like. space, hospitality and flexibility are big concepts, and personal preferences mix everything up pretty lumpy. i think foldable partitions are the genius solution, but he doesn’t like them, so he says. well, he didn’t like my suggestion of concrete flooring (volubly, i might add), then after i’d gotten my head round to other options he says they’re the way to go. if our wedding, prep and all, is any indication, we’re in for a ride that will turn out good.

i guess i could get used to the idea of recording the things we get up to <3

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