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hello you, hello us

October 16, 2014

today, i looked at old photos. and downloaded some of them. i had intended to put them up, here, photos to show me, show the world, but they weren’t there when i looked in my folder. it’s alright; maybe they’ll appear later. meanwhile i shall write words.

i chose a photo of my leaving home, in a bride’s gown, soon-to-be husband arm in arm. the white brick walls of the old lift lobby glow in the picture, and sunlight streams into the lens. my now sister-in-law is bending, adjusting the train. a dear friend doubling as videographer walks by our right, and a neighbour’s simple bicycle watches us pass from the left. i was leaving home.

i chose a black-and-white photo of me stepping out, entering the sanctuary, daddy beside me, making sure i don’t fall over my too-long gown. it was a little thing to be concerned over, but daddy was in tears the day he gave me away. he gave me away, i belong to another, but i am his daughter. in obstinacy, in conviction, in spirit, i have my inheritance from him and mommy.

i chose a photo of my brother hugging me, a moment in my thank-you speech. telling him he hadn’t lost his big sister, but gained a brother. mommy was the only one who had controlled her tears while i thanked each one; funnily enough. john’s in the background, smiling, and somehow, he and the flowers make it beautiful.

a final photo; john and i sharing a space – a few words, a pause, some oxygen, chemicals, privacy, the heady rush and relaxation after it all, the celebration, the joy, the ceremony of marriage. then the becoming began; the process of oneness so complete i am his and he is mine, and his banner over me is love. one day we will get there.

the photos have appeared.

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leaving home;

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daddy and his girl;

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didi, it’s not goodbye;

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hello you, hello husband, oh hello, hello us 

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