i just want to say

February 14, 2014

wedding rehearsal tonight had a strange effect on me.

– rehearsing the processional, waiting at the preparation room for the music to begin, was the very first time the fact that i’m getting married sunk in.

– i briefly contemplated pleading overwhelmness.

– wedding prep has a subtle way of distancing a relationship. john and i have been good and comfy, but tonight, running on programmes and tasks, i had a vision of being forced into a mould in which our comfyness has no place. stern, and i had a sudden sense of estrangement, which was pretty awful.

– nothing in the preparations so far has been real, nothing, except, the love of our friends. tonight, seeing so many gathered in the sanctuary, focused on their areas of responsibility, i saw how much it takes to support a couple, and got a glimpse of how well we are loved.

thanks guys, you’re the real deal in the daze of it all.


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