sitting through the emotion

August 18, 2012

of long distance.

perhaps a cancelled phone call is no big deal most times and perhaps that is true, but times with him are not most times and they are precious to me.

it is difficult, building a house with someone who is not just far away, but far away and given to various commitments. there are things that mismatch, then, what is ideal and would fall under whimsical, prettily coloured books where there is a girl in a dress laughing and a boy beside her, just so, just right; when in reality i have been working through my brokenness and he has been simply busy.

yet- i would not exchange even this process for anything else in the world; the unexpected beauty of leaning into the shelter of his arms, the promise given that i finally have a safety, a protector, i have someone who will stand by me and remind me of better things, that in addition to the flaws and weaknesses i see so clearly inside of me, there is Christ, and how we who have Christ have hope.

there is much to rejoice, even in down times, keeping this in memory. one day this chunk, big as it is, will float down gently and rest, against the house of our dreams; we will work till then.


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